Creative Writing Contest!!

I WON!!!!!!

First place in poetry!! I'm so excited. The Creative Writing Festival is next week and I get to read my poem in front of everyone. I'm kind of nervous about that--it *IS* about the child abuse I suffered when younger. But that's what made me win.

I worry, a little, that that's like... the only thing I've ever written that's prize worthy. I don't even feel that it was particularly well-written... just that I have a lot of details in there, and the details are just... well, disturbing. Disturbing to others, I mean. I guess I find them disturbing, but they've been carried around with me for so long that I'm somewhat desensitized to them, in a way. I don't mean that I'm not affected, even today, because I am. But it's not something I think about every day, not by any means. Or if I do think about it, I think about it in a way that is absent from emotion.

I won a contest on deviantart.com once, I guess. But a college contest, with money and honors as far as reading it, especially in front of a famous guest poet, well, that's something else entirely.

I know I should be fully happy about this, not looking for the bad. But I want so badly to be a writer... I want so badly to go to graduate school... I want these things for myself, and the majority of me always worries, worries, worries that I'm not really good enough. That I'm going to end up stuck at Wal-mart for the rest of my life. That I'm going to fail... fail myself.

At the Exponent Again

"Here I am on the road again, here I am, up on the stage..."

Not really. But I *AM* here again: that is, the Exponent Office!!

I really like it here. A lot. I hope that I am re-elected to be in this position again next semester. I really love it!!

We have an 8 page paper this week--our first one since the first paper of the semester. I only have 2 columns that are going to fit on page. 2 columns and one comic. It's printed out and over getting copy edited as we speak. I hope this means that I'll get out of here earlier tonight. I'm tired and I have a speech to write. I have to give it tomorrow. It's going to be on Prince Fielder -- the first thing I could really think of when our professor asked what topic I had chosen. It's cool though; I like baseball and I love Prince Fielder. The speech only has to be 3 minutes, and I'm going to introduce it by talking about how I became interested in baseball. I love baseball--as much as anyone who isn't a sports nut can love any sport. So that means I'm pretty fond of it, know the basic rules of the game, etc. Enjoy watching it.

Man, my eyes itch. Allergy season. I hate it. I have to start taking my allergy meds again I guess... lame. They itch like crazy, but if I rub them not only will they get full of whatever germs I have on my hands, but will also get full of my eye makeup, which will sting like heck. Plus, I'll look like an idiot with smeared makeup!